So I’ve been spending the last few days in Washington state, enjoying the holiday festivities with family and friends. It’s been great – my husband and family didn’t get along so holidays were always difficult when my husband and I were together, and the end result of all that tension was that I wasn’t able to spend an actual Christmas with my parents for over 10 years. This year, after I filed for divorce, was the first Christmas that I was finally able to spend with my parents and, as an only child from a small close-knit family, it meant a lot to me to finally restore some sense of normalcy to my life. Of course, it hasn’t been without its own difficulties though. I’m still trying to work things out with my soon-to-be ex-husband but in the interim, there has been quite a bit of drama and ugliness that I’m not proud of. I want us both to get to a good place where we’re happy and can be good friends and co-parents to our teenage son but that’s proving to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. Even so, I am hopeful that things will be better in the New Year. I am still confident that I made the right decision in leaving, even if it is difficult and messy at times…it will get easier in time and I will be stronger for it.
Posts Tagged ‘family
Post holiday rambling
Out of exile
For the past few months, I’ve been in a self-imposed exile of sorts, feeling like I couldn’t share what was going on in my life because I was going through a great deal of personal turmoil and since I didn’t know who knew what, I couldn’t go public with what was going on. But now the cat is finally out of the bag and I know that my soon-to-be ex-husband has told all his family members and close friends that we are getting a divorce. Despite the fact that I do have a blog and I do share some personal information here, I’m a private person by nature – especially when it comes to my family and my personal relationships – and nothing is more personal than ending a long-term relationship where a child is involved. At any rate, after wrestling with this decision for several months, I finally feel like we’ve made the right decision and I am at peace. In fact, I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The bottom line is that the relationship wasn’t working for either of us anymore and under those circumstances, it’s better for everyone if we end the relationship amicably and move on. It looks like we’re going to be able to do that so I’m looking forward to moving on, openly and honestly, and beginning the next chapter of my life.
Back in the saddle
So after a month of absolute craziness including an unexpected week long visit from relatives, my partner’s not unexpected but still difficult to deal with job loss, my unrelenting health problems, higher than usual levels of teenage angst which in turn led to major conflicts between my son and his dad, I was left feeling physically and emotionally stressed, drained, exhausted, and depleted. Perhaps because I knew that my financial contributions were so vital to the household and therefore shutting down as I’ve done in the past when I’ve gotten overwhelmed just wasn’t an option but somehow, fortunately, I managed to resist the temptation to either stay in bed all day or run away to Argentina. To my surprise, I found that immersing myself in work was therapeutic and helpful in many ways.
First of all, just being busy and completely engaged in something other than the drama swirling around the house was immensely liberating – of course, I was still aware of everything going on but because my primary focus had shifted to work and my creative endeavors, I was more a casual observer than the unwilling participant I usually am. Also, the realization that I am now actually able to earn enough from my contract and freelance work to keep the household afloat until my partner returns to work full-time was quite a pleasant surprise for me – not to mention a pretty big ego boost! When my chronic health issues first forced me to leave my full-time job six years ago, I sincerely believed it would only be a temporary leave of absence…I had been suffering from debilitating fatigue for months and when it finally became too much to cope with, it seemed reasonable that if I could just rest up for a couple months then I might be able to regain my strength and return to the job I loved. When months (and then years) passed without my health ever returning to “normal”, I had to give up on the idea of going back to my former high-stress full-time job and look at other work options that were more flexible and could easily adapt to my frequent need to adjust my schedule due to fatigue and migraine headaches. After trying several jobs over several years, I’ve finally found a combination of contract and freelance work that meets all my requirements and I can’t even begin to explain just how big a difference that has made in my life.
Now if only I could just figure out how to solve the problem of my surly teenager and his difficult relationship with his dad…
Back on track
The last few weeks have been ridiculously busy, with way more drama than I usually like to let enter my life, so unfortunately maintaining this site hasn’t been a priority recently. I’m pleased to report, however, that things have settled down a bit and therefore I can now refocus my attention on working on some improvements to this site…I have several ideas that have been percolating in my mind for quite a while now – it’s just a matter of finding the time to actually make it happen. So anyway…watch this space: there will be soon be many more product reviews, advocacy alerts, special features and much more. Now I just need to find the time to execute all these great plans of mine…
no drama in the new year
The last couple of weeks have been incredibly hectic, with way too much chaos and drama, but in the way that hard times often do, the recent difficulties have shown me once again how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by family and friends that love and support me. I know that no matter what, I have people that I can call on to cheer me up, listen to me vent, bounce ideas off, commiserate with, make me laugh, and just generally be there for me (as I would for them) and that means more to me than anything in the world. I appreciate all of you more than you’ll ever know and I can only hope that I can even begin to repay everything you’ve done for me.
All in all, 2009 was a pretty good year for me. Professionally, I’ve gotten to a place where I’m fairly satisfied: doing interesting contract work and also freelancing. I just began working for a new company in November and I’m pleased with how that’s going so far. I also began working on putting together some stories that I’d like to eventually compile in to a book, which has been something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time but haven’t actually done anything about so it felt good to actually take some first steps in that direction. Knowing my tendency to procrastinate, I’m sure it will take quite a while for me to complete the project but at least it’s started, right?
My son started high school this year (I’m still sort of in shock about that) and is doing amazingly well. My husband and I have had our ups and downs this year but we’ve gotten to a good place and I’m thankful for his love and support as well. Yes, it’s been a good year.
Holcombe Waller released this song from his soon-to-be released album yesterday and, given all the circumstances, I thought it was especially appropriate. It’s called “Risk of Change” and it’s available for free download on Holcombe’s site.
I don’t usually like to make New Year’s resolutions but I suppose if I was going to make one, it would be for less drama in the New Year. There’s enough drama and chaos that we can’t control so I certainly don’t need to invite any extra drama in. I wish the same for you as well. Happy New Year and all best wishes for a drama-free 2010!
Good news today from the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood: the Walt Disney Company will be offering a full refund to anyone who purchased a Baby Einstein video in the past five years. Even though the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television viewing for children under the age of two, the marketing of “educational” videos for babies has become a multi-million dollar industry. According to CCFC:
In 2006, CCFC filed a Federal Trade Commission complaint against Baby Einstein, Brainy Baby, and Baby FirstTV for false and deceptive marketing. As a result, the marketing for Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby was substantially altered—eliminating many of the educational claims cited in CCFC’s complaint. However, the companies made no move to compensate parents who purchased them. Now parents who purchased Baby Einstein DVDs, mistakenly believing the videos would make their babies smarter, can recoup their money by visiting: www.commercialfreechildhood.org/babyeinsteinrefund.html.
