Slightly Unhinged

So after a month of absolute craziness including an unexpected week long visit from relatives, my partner’s not unexpected but still difficult to deal with job loss, my unrelenting health problems, higher than usual levels of teenage angst which in turn led to major conflicts between my son and his dad, I was left feeling physically and emotionally stressed, drained, exhausted, and depleted. Perhaps because I knew that my financial contributions were so vital to the household and therefore shutting down as I’ve done in the past when I’ve gotten overwhelmed just wasn’t an option but somehow, fortunately, I managed to resist the temptation to either stay in bed all day or run away to Argentina. To my surprise, I found that immersing myself in work was therapeutic and helpful in many ways.

First of all, just being busy and completely engaged in something other than the drama swirling around the house was immensely liberating – of course, I was still aware of everything going on but because my primary focus had shifted to work and my creative endeavors, I was more a casual observer than the unwilling participant I usually am. Also, the realization that I am now actually able to earn enough from my contract and freelance work to keep the household afloat until my partner returns to work full-time was quite a pleasant surprise for me – not to mention a pretty big ego boost! When my chronic health issues first forced me to leave my full-time job six years ago, I sincerely believed it would only be a temporary leave of absence…I had been suffering from debilitating fatigue for months and when it finally became too much to cope with, it seemed reasonable that if I could just rest up for a couple months then I might be able to regain my strength and return to the job I loved. When months (and then years) passed without my health ever returning to “normal”, I had to give up on the idea of going back to my former high-stress full-time job and look at other work options that were more flexible and could easily adapt to my frequent need to adjust my schedule due to fatigue and migraine headaches. After trying several jobs over several years, I’ve finally found a combination of contract and freelance work that meets all my requirements and I can’t even begin to explain just how big a difference that has made in my life.

Now if only I could just figure out how to solve the problem of my surly teenager and his difficult relationship with his dad…